Sarcasmo Should Be in the City of 'Dis   


Ok, ok, so this should technically be on the quiz page, but hey, I'm already damned. What's one more sin gonna do?


The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test


- Via Intellectual Orgy.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 30, 2003
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Now Making Libel Easier Than Ever   


Word-Of-Mouth.Info allows people to pass along "Information Reports" about people they know.

Now harmful gossip can make it around the world in just a fraction of the time!

- via if you lived here you would be home by now.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 30, 2003
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These Birds Have Nicer Digs Than I Do   


Piip Show.
- Found on B3ta.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 30, 2003
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Manor House   


Pop Culture Boy and I watched the 2-hour premiere of Manor House last night, and are completely hooked. (I know--we area such nerds. We don't watch normal "reality" shows like Survivor, American Idol, or Mr. Personality (is it me, or do those guys all look like the Cybermen from Dr. Who?)...but we're suckers for PBS reality TV. On the other hand, I do love The Anna Nicole Show and The Osbornes (which I consider more living cartoons than reality tv), so I suppose I'm not too un-American.)


Although we are endlessly amused by 10-year-old Master Guy (who has taken to manor life as though he were born to it), the heart of the program is Mr. Edgar, the manor butler. He looks the part of the severe manor butler, but then he wants so badly for things to run smoothly, and for the young men and women under his supervision to be happy. When they disappoint or fail him, he takes it right to heart.


On the other hand, the fact that Mr. Edgar looks like Wilfrid Brambell (Paul's grandfather from A Hard Day's Night), and chef Monsiuer Dubiard looks like Mr. Bean has led to no end of giggling on our parts.


Scullery Maids Who Couldn't Hack It So Far: 2

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 29, 2003
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Fun Stuff for a Monday   


Sarcasmo got her new computer this weekend....and she is very, very happy. To celebrate, here are a whole slew of silly, Monday morning links for you slacking pleasure:


That should at least get you going until the coffee kicks in.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Sunday, April 27, 2003
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He's Oh, So, Sexie   


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Cake or Death is reporting that Eddie Izzard will be beginning his new tour, Sexie, this fall.

I am overwhelmed with joy!

Posted by Sarcasmo on Thursday, April 24, 2003
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I Can't Help It, My Brain Just Works This Way   


Pop Culture Boy and I were out on the "veranda" (read: fire escape landing) last night and had the chance to meet one of our neighbors who, as it turns out, goes to the local podiatry school. In the course of our conversation, she mentioned that they practice on cadavers.

I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking if they used the whole cadavers...or just the foot portion. And if just the foot portion--just up to the ankle, or do they get the whole leg (how much of the leg do podiatrists treat)? Or do they do just one foot at a time, or is it important to have a matched set, so they can look for anomalies, etc?

I didn't ask, because I thought it was too creepy a question for a first meeting...but now I really want to know. Can anyone fill me on this?

Clearly, my small talk skills are wanting some polish...

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 23, 2003
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Strange Patents   


Take a tour of the Delphion Gallery of Obscure Patents, a collection of "strange" and "intriguing" patents.

From Idle Type.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 23, 2003
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Fun at Random   


Surf the web with randomly generated one, two, or three word searches at Gaggle. Learn all about nemesis dipoid, Embrittle Matisse, nubile (just to name a few).

- From Buffonery.org

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 23, 2003
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Find Your Groove   


Is there anything technology can't do?

If I had one of these I wouldn't leave the house to do anything else but buy new CDs.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 23, 2003
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Reach Out and Touch Someone...Strange   


Bored? Why not call a payphone in some distant part of the world and see who answers?

- Thanks to Memepool.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 22, 2003
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Brad Pitt's Bottom a Foam and Silicon Mixture?   


10 Things We Didn't Know This Time Last Week.

Diety-of-your-choosing, bless BBC News. If it weren't for encapsulated articles like this, I'd never keep up!

- Via Madville.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 22, 2003
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Free Comic Book Day Countdown   


Sorry, folks. Don't know why the counter won't run. Working on it...promise!

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 22, 2003
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Computer and Video Games That Never Were   


More Photoshop fun from the folks at B3ta. I think this is my favorite so far.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 22, 2003
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Here's the purported history of games, movies, books, and other histories that never were.

- Via Madville.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Monday, April 21, 2003
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Monday Morning Fun With Letters   


Posted by Sarcasmo on Sunday, April 20, 2003
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Dark Water   


As a follow-up to my project post, I will tell you that when dealing with a new coffee machine at work, I managed to put the thermos under filter in the one position that would cause it spill everywhere..and thus the streak continues. After the puddles were sopped up, I called the executive assistant (who actually met with the Aramark rep when the machines were set up) and asked him to monitor me as I made my second attempt at making morning coffee.


As we watched the coffee pool into the top of the thermos, he told me that when he turned the sink on in the kitchen first thing this morning, the water ran black for about 5 seconds before running clear. This put me in mind of two things.


First, having just seen Dark Water, I couldn't help but think of the bathtub filling with stagnant, black water. A small thrill shuddered through me and I briefly wondered about the location and cleanliness of our water tank.


A more prevalent memory pervaded, though, and I remembered my first time away from home.


I was around 7 years old, and my friend Tracy and I were spending a week at Camp Laughing Waters, a local Girl Scout sleep-over camp. (If memory serves, my unit was staying in the Lackawana section of the campground).


Tracy adapted easily to camp life; joining activities and making friends quickly. I, the shyer of the two, became homesick as soon as the excitement of being away from home wore off--approximately two minutes after I unrolled my sleeping bag.


After a few days, I had worked myself into such a whiny, cry-baby, homesick frenzy that I made myself physically sick. I was running a low fever, and so, with the sun shining high, and the other girls laughing and running in their shorts to play sports, my counselor deposited me at the nurse's station, sure to let me know that being sick was all in my head, and I was just ruining things for myself.


I laid in bed in the nurse's station (the only brick building on the campground, other than the ranger's house), staring out the window opposite me, bored and trying not to bite down on the glass thermometer clenched between my teeth. I was miserable. The sun was shining and I was stuck in bed with no one to play with or talk to. Meanwhile, my unit went and spent a sunny afternoon having a water balloon fight with girls in another unit.


Several hours later, my counselor returned to check on me, dressed in her bathing suit and shorts and drenched from head-to-toe. She tried again to encourage me to stop moping by telling the nurse in great deal about how much fun everyone had, and how it was a shame I was missing everything. I felt terrible. I felt like I was a bad person and a loser. Why couldn't I be brave like everyone else?


Then, the following events happened (conversations paraphased, natch):


Mean, but Well-Meaning Counselor (to Nurse): All the girls had such a good time. It was weird, though. Near the end, when we were filling up the balloons, the water came out of the pump dark brown.

Nurse: Well, that can't be good. You shouldn't have been throwing dirty water at one another.

[Nurse goes to the sink and turns the knob. Murky water comes out of the faucet.]

Nurse and Mean, but Well-Meaning Counselor: Ewwww!


[The light level in the room drops; the sky had darkened dramatically. A young Sarcasmo turns to look out the window just in time to see the young tree in front of the nurse's station be blown over by the wind with a resounding crack.]


It was about this time the counselor stopped mocking me, and instead turned deathly pale.


I think she wanted to go back to the unit and help the other counselors, but the nurse wouldn't let her leave. Walking about in wooded areas during a hurricane is generally ill-advised.


The rest of my memory of this night is a jumble of disjointed scenes. I remember that the wind beat down heavily on the windows, and at one point a jeep rolled up to the nurses station, and the nurse spoke to the driver out the window while I stood wide-eyed behind. In the jeep was the ranger, and in the seat next to him, another girl from my unit. She was quietly crying, her arm wrapped in white bandages, blood seeping through them quickly. When the storm started, they got the girls and their belongings out of the tents, and huddled them into the Lackawana log cabin. One of the windows had blown in, and the glass went through the girl's arm.

According to Tracy (who, incidentally, never really forgave me for not being there with her during the storm), being in the cabin during the storm was terrifying. The counselors were panicked, the walls creaked and moved with the wind, and the all the girls were piled together, crying; while I was warm and dry in my "sickbed".

When the sun came up the next day, I was taken back to the unit to gather what soggy belongings were still left. Most of the tents (huge things, which sat on platforms and housed 5 cots a piece) had blown down if not entirely away. Trees were broken and in blown over. Everyone waited, waterlogged, shivering and unhappy, until our parents to come and take us home.

I was a little sad to go; this had been an adventure. Even if I had sat most of it out. (There is a part of me that to this day wonders if some sixth sense didn't get me worked up just long enough to be out of harm's way. Silly, I know, but when you consider that my Mom woke-up from a sound sleep, the night of the storm convinced she heard running water and her mother calling her name...well, you never know. Stranger thinks have happened.)

Oddly enough, this onslaught by Mother Nature didn't stop Tracy and I from returning to summer camp the next year, and for many years after. In fact, it wasn't even my worst camp experience. My work camp experience was on a two week camping trip, one week of which took place in Cape Henlopen, Delaware, and involved broken bones, child starvation, walking throug a live mine field, trespassing on a military base, extreme sunburn, excessive weight loss, and vampire mosquitos from Hell. I still bear the psychic scars from that trip. To this day, if I ride through the state of Delaware, I am anxious and irritable until I pass the state line (seriously--you don't even have to tell me when I'm in Delaware, my body just knows).

But that story is for another day and another time.

For today, I am happy to say that (so far) the weather seems to be holding. Which is good, because there isn't a nurse's station in site.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 16, 2003
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Project Management   


Seems like everyone has a blog project these days. But with so many too chose from, what's Sarcasmo to do? Here are just a few of the proud projects floating around these days:



With so many riveting collaborative efforts on the web, I couldn't help but come up with one of my own. Welcome to the Sarcasmo's Turn off Your Computer, Climb Into Bed, and Pull The Covers Way Over Your Head Project. (Pictures optional).

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 15, 2003
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KITT   


Knight Rider, the movie.

At least David Hasselhoff isn't slated to play Michael Knight this time around. After this, I don't think I can handle looking at him for a while.

- Thanks to Breakfast Tacos.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 15, 2003
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Oh, Yes   


Family Guy on DVD?

I am so there.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Monday, April 14, 2003
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Monday Morning Distractions   




That's all the distraction I have to offer you for now. Go get some coffee and get back to work!


Posted by Sarcasmo on Sunday, April 13, 2003
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The Little Things   



Little Things Making Me Happy As I Update My Blog:


Posted by Sarcasmo on Sunday, April 13, 2003
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My Favorite Day of the Year   


I am a huge fan of Halloween, and my birthday ranks up there, but Free Comic Book Day is in the running for my new favorite day of the year.

Last year, Pop Culture Boy and I got a huge pile of free comic books; the shop keepers asked us what we read currently, then scientifically deduced what comic titles we might like but had not read before.

We were giddy the rest of the day. We grinned like idiot, we smiled at the tourists crowding the sidewalks, and had conversations like:

PCB: Hey, guess what?

Sarcasmo:What?

PCB: It's Free Comic Book Day.

Sarcasmo: YAY!!!


[BEAT]


Sarcasmo: Hey honey...

PCB: [Looks at Sarcasmo expectantly]

Sarcasmo: Guess what I did today?

PCB:: What?

Sarcasmo: Got a bunch of free comics.

PCB: YAY!



We would spontaneously break out into the Free Comic Book Day Song, which I made up.

*ahem*

Free Comic Book Daaaaaay
Free Comic Book Daaaaaay
The Greatest of all Days
Free Comic Book Daaaaaay!


When oh when will it be May 3rd?

Post Script: As I was writing this post, PCB called me on the phone. The conversation went a little like this:


PCB: Hello!

Sarcasmo: Hey, honey. Guess what May 3rd is?

PCB: What?

Sarcasmo: Free Comic Book Day.

PCB:: Don't toy with me woman. I'm not a wife-beater, but I'll learn.

Sarcasmo: I'm not. I'm looking at the website right now. May 3rd. Free Comic Book Day.

PCB: [Comment about spontaneous sexual release in his trousers.]



We're a little excited. Can you tell?

Post-Post Script: Wonder if this post would count towards this?

Posted by Sarcasmo on Friday, April 11, 2003
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Friday Diversions   


Friday already? This week went hella fast!

Some things to keep you from troubling your pretty little head with work today:



Argh. Must get to work.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Friday, April 11, 2003
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Errr..   


I've wanted to learn Japanese for a long time now. I've tried tapes, and even purchased this great book (yes, its for kids but I am a beginner).

However this animation has made me more determined to learn Japanese than ever. Just so I can figure out what is going on.

It is definitely no Yatta!. (For those of you, like me, still don't understand Japanese, you can find the translated lyrics here.

- Scary Animation by way of B3ta, Yatta! originally introduced to me by Peccable.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Thursday, April 10, 2003
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Does That Mean I Hate Freedom?   


There's a new Get Your War On!

Posted by Sarcasmo on Thursday, April 10, 2003
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What a Difference 45 Years Can Make   


Pop Culture Boy sent me a link to Vertigo...Then and Now, a cool little website that shows locations from the Hitchock classic Vertigo, and compares how they looked then to how they look now.

Some places haven't changed at all; others are barely recognizable.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
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McMakeover    


McDonald's, in an effort to change with the times, is planning to get some employees with manners, and make their locations more homey. Wonder if the clown will start sporting a suit and tie, too.

However, it is the following quote from this article that makes me sorry I had a Value Meal for lunch today:
The company plans to introduce a "premium hamburger" made with more wholesome meat.
More wholesome than what? I don't even want to ponder it.

- Via Plastic.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
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NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!   


Now what will I do with all my quarters?

Pop Culture Boy is really going to be bummed. He loved that place. I liked it too, even though the pumped-up volume and clouds of smoke tended to give me a headache after about an hour of gameplay. They had my favorite pinball game (Medieval Madness), some new games, and a slew of classic games you could still play for a quarter.

This, my friends, really sucks.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
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"Bad luck isn't brought by broken mirrors, but by broken minds."   


Bloody Disgusting is reporting that Dimension Films have aquired the rights to remake the Dario Argento horror classic, Suspiria.

Although I must admit I am not a huge fan of the original Suspiria (its gorgeous to look at, but there were story inconsistencies that drove me crazy), it is generally held by horror fim enthusiasts to be one of the best horror films of all time. Why then, remake it? Why not simply re-release it. Did the Hollywood community learn nothing from the remake of Psycho?

And if they won't look to Psycho, they should look to Satan's School for Girls (Made-For-TV twice, both times starring Kate Jackson), which is a dreadful film with a plot that was *ahem* inspired by Suspiria in a way that would bring about a Intellectual Property lawsuit these days.

Please, won't someone think of the children? And if not the children, won't they think of Kate Jackson?

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
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If I Had Any Engineering Skill At All   


I'd build me one of these, and clicky-clack the whole day long.

- Discovered on User Friendly.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
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Finally, Some Mon-ay   


Odd Todd, the book.
I love Odd Todd...he sure kept me entertained while I was on the dole.
- Via Gimcracker.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
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If You Don't Talk Back to the TV, the TV Wins   


Pop Culture Boy sent me a link to this comic, which reminded him of watching television with me.

I can't help it. I refuse to make watching TV a passive activity. Even if I am lying on the sofa eating Oreos while I am doing it.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 08, 2003
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Monday, Monday   


Hope you all had a pleasant weekend, because the links I have for you today are both fun and disturbing:



Enjoy!

Posted by Sarcasmo on Monday, April 07, 2003
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Let's All Go the Lobby   


The Philadelphia Film Festival has begun, and I am determined to see more than couple of films this year. Today I got off to a fine start with two "Danger After Dark" features:

  1. Beyond Re-Animator: Sadly I didn't make it to one of the screenings where the director and star spoke afterwards, but never mind. It was gleefully terrible, and unapologetically gory; the kind of movie that entertains you, although you don't know why. I wouldn't recommend rushing out to see it. However, the excellent performance of Jeffrey Combs, coupled with the flight scene that takes place during the credits (must be seen to be believed) completely made those 105 minutes worthwhile.

  2. Dark Water: From the same director who brought us Ringu (later made into the American film The Ring), Dark Water is atmospheric, tense, and thrilling. How tense is it? For the last 20 minutes of the movie, the theater was so quiet one could hear the projector running. This movie will get to you. See it if you can.


  3. Side note: If you should go to a film festival that often features local directors, take a moment to observe your surroundings before audibly trashing a film you saw the year before. You never know when said director might be standing just a few feet away.

    Sorry, guy.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Monday, April 07, 2003
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More Music Video Weirdness   


Kompressor:The Girl from Ipanema.

Featuring an alien with perhaps the worst fake French (sorry, Freedom) accent ever.

- Pass along by Pop Culture Boy

Posted by Sarcasmo on Sunday, April 06, 2003
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Charlie Tuna Unabomber Track   


I don't know either...but I couldn't look away.

DJ Format: We Know Something You Don't Know.

- Found on Linkerati.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Sunday, April 06, 2003
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Okay...ewww   


Imagine what the inside of your mouth must taste like after eating at this place. Ugh.

- Via Web Sweepings

Posted by Sarcasmo on Sunday, April 06, 2003
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Modern Fairy Tales   


This week's Beta Challenge will leave you laughing and poison your childhood memories. Who could ask for anything more? *Note: Some entries are less-than-safe for the workplace.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Saturday, April 05, 2003
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Sometimes   


I just need a change of scenery...

Posted by Sarcasmo on Saturday, April 05, 2003
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Please Bear With me   


We should be up and running soon...

Posted by Sarcasmo on Friday, April 04, 2003
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Friday   


Aw, heck. Who wants to work on a Friday?

Posted by Sarcasmo on Friday, April 04, 2003
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Epiphany   


This June I will be thirty (30) years old; a decidedly grown-up birthday. I took some time to examine my life, and here is how it breaks down:


In essence: if I can maintain this lifestyle for another few months, I will have grown-up to be a nerdy 16-year-old. Yay, me!!

Posted by Sarcasmo on Friday, April 04, 2003
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Al Jazeera   


For those many you who have come looking for news on Al Jazeera (and who ended up here because, like me, they cannot spell Al Jazerra) their website seems to be up and running again after traffic, hacker, and whatever other issues have been keeping them down.

The English version doesn't seem to be up yet, but when it is, the link above should take you there.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Wednesday, April 02, 2003
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From the Jumble in My Head   


Some random facts:


  1. Hugh Hefner Has Got It Right: I'm rather indifferent about the cavorting women, but I am all about living life in my pajamas. He's already got the adult magazine angle covered...how can I work pajamas into my own career path? Hmmm....

  2. Attention Advertisers: Anthormorphism Is Counter-productive in Commercials: Maybe it's just me, but I always have to follow the anthropomorphized character to its inevitable conclusion.

    • The talking dishwasher receptacles that begs for Jet-Dry? I can only imagine once it's been fed and is in the darkness of the dishwasher, it's spitting the stuff out on my dishes out of it's mealy little mouth.
    • The Eggo Waf-fulls commercials have a walking Eggo Waffle that becomes fruit filled by consuming the frightened fruit. Why is this disgusting? Next time you eat a turkey with stuffing, imagine that the stuffing got there not after the bird was prepared for cooking, but rather had been eaten by the bird before it died. See. Gross.
    • And of course, the Levi's singing bellybuttons still creep me out.

    I could never buy any of this stuff.

  3. Boobs: I wish I could make my cleavage work for me the way Anna Nicole makes her cleavage work for her. Damn.

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 01, 2003
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Du-de!   


Sunday Night, The Anna Nicole Show will be doing a Trading Spaces/Changing Rooms-style makeover.

But with more drinking.

I may very well be in Trashy TV Heaven! Woo-hoo!

Posted by Sarcasmo on Tuesday, April 01, 2003
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