Friday Follies - The Somewhat Inapporpirate Inappropriate Edition
Ok - so "Inappropirate" isn't a word. But it totally should be.
- UNPC, Possibly Upsetting, Mostly Not Worksafe, and Funny:
- Hitler Raps (mostly worksafe)- [PHG]
- Animated porn from 1924 (not remotely worksafe. Also, not so much "funny" as "has funny ideas about how human anatomy works." Have we evolved so much since the Roaring 20's? Or did prohibition just affect people in strange and curious ways?)- [BM]
- Seinfeld, The Lost Episode (audio not safe for work- [B]
- Hitler Raps (mostly worksafe)- [PHG]
- Does Great Britain Need a New National Anthem?: And should it be Spandau Ballet's "Gold"? (And did anyone else shout out "Shut up and sing 'True' each time Martin Kemp turned up on Eastenders, or was that just me then?) - [pb]
- You Knew One Day It Would Come in All It's Vector Terror: Asteroid's Revenge - [JLW]
- When I Rule The World:
- I vow to do all my blogging myself, and not resort to this
- You may bring me this chair for my throne [si], this Threadless Tee as a reminder of how I came to power, and these monster stockings for all the presents my loyal followers will leave hanging me every night...or else [N].
Permanent Link
|
Monday Morning Evening Madness
Had a nice trip through my own private fantasy land this weekend. (Or, as I like to think of it, Someday the Universe Will Mold to My Will And Make My Dreams So.)
First, I received a postcard from Egypt, very generously sent by Greg Buras of Delenda Est Carthago. When I was a kid, I was fascinated with mummification and treasure packed acursed tombs, and wanted for some time to be an Egyptologist. At some point, however, it struck me that the bulk of the tombs had likely been
On Saturday, SarcasMom and I took a journey of our own, albeit slightly closer to home. Specifically we went to Longwood Gardens - a sort of horticulture epicenter which is done up big for the holidays to attract all the local tourists. The "gardens" were once the summer getaway of the duPont family, and include such amenities as a conservatory, a tower, a couple of lakes, some formal gardens, an ice rink, an organ, and a topiary garden. Everytime we turned a green, well-manicured corner, I half expected to stumble across a well-apointed garden party, where everyone was dressed in their whitest Victorian finery and quietly denying the demure sexual tension that surrounded them. It became clear to me very quickly that this grand place was too much for the public at large, and that indeed, it was meant to be mine, mine, all mine - and in all my Gothic glory. (Well, look, it makes sense. I'm going to need an appropriate place to wander about barefoot, loose haired and slightly mad in the wee morning hours whilst wearing a gossamer dressing gown. It is, after all, the future I've been preparing for my whole life long.)
As I stood upon the parapet in front of the conservatory, overlooking the formal garden and to this hills and chime tower in the distance, I felt in my heart of hearts that this was the view I was meant to see while having my coffee in the morning. This was the meadow in which I needed to wander with journal in hand (and these the ticks I'll need to send for the doctor to remove, thrice weekly.) I don't even need the whole of the grounds really. I don't even especially care for the house. I'd be able to move quite comfortably into the conservatory, which has a beautifully ceilinged ballroom for dancing, a music room which could be easily converted into a stunning library (complete with the ever important fireplace) and more acreage in and of itself than I think one would get if they cobbled together every house, apartment and dorm room in which I ever lived.
So, sorry if you're planning on visiting Longwood Gardens anytime in the future, you may want to go sooner rather than later - because once I make my fortune (which I shall do by sitting here patiently for it to fall into my ever-deserving lap) I'm kicking the public out and making this rural stomping ground all my own.
Of course, the topiary garden will have to go - likely to be replaced by a much more intriguing hedge maze. And you can blame Stephen King for that one. I read The Shining at such an impressionable age that to this day, I can't turn my back on the Mickey Mouse topiary figure that greets guests in Disney World, because I swear every time I stop looking directly at him, I see his position shift out of the corner of my eye just a little bit. (That mouse, he's shifty). Hedge mazes are slightly less scary. Besides which, I learned on an old episode of Batman that one can easily escape any garden maze by simply taking all the left turns. And I see no reason why Adam West would lie to me.
- I'm Not Really Into "Theme" Rooms When Decorating: But I could see putting together a sort of fairy tale style guestroom in my Longwood Garden estate with this tree bed and these stone pillows. -[AT]
- Question: What Do You Do With Over 4 Million Dominoes?: Answer: Knock them down.
- Plants that BLEED?: My favorite part about this Graveyard Gothic Garden Terrium Kit (why yes, I do sort of want one) is that it's listed under "Educational Toys." As if little Goth boys and girls needed anything more than a Bauhaus album, some black eyeliner and a thumb-worn chapbook of Shelley's poetry. - [BB]
- They Say on the Internet, Nobody Knows if You're a Dog: But in the 80s, there were the Dog Police. Whatever the hell they are. - [EIUC]
Permanent Link
|
Monday Morning Madness...
...will be about 12 hours late today - mostly because sometimes sitting around listening to Ella Fitzgerald croon Lullaby of Birdland is a far more satisfying way to spend a Sunday evening than watching silly movies on the Internet.
No. Seriously.
In the mean time, here's the quiz.
Permanent Link
|
Friday Follies
I am far too turkey tired to be clever. Here are some links:
- Things I Need: This
- A Sexiest Man List: That I actually more or less agree with.
- Sweet and Sad: Kiwi - [iaot]
- HaHaHaHa: Wikipedia Brown - [CT]
- Whee: Animusic - [MF]
Permanent Link
|
Monday Morning Madness
I am an unabashed fan of the 1967 film version of Casino Royale (both the DVD and soundtrack for this film are in my personal collection; in fact, it is the only Bond film I own); and often upset die hard Bond fans by announcing my Bond preference to be David Niven. (It is said the Ian Fleming wanted Niven to play Bond in the official films, so I feel vindicated in choosing him over, even, Connery). That said, I saw the new Bond film this weekend - and although no Bond could ever take David Niven's place in my heart, Danny Craig comes in a very close second.
Sorry Mr. Connery.
I have one complaint, however - what kind of crappy Bond song was that? Where's Shirley Bassey when you need her?
- Monday Morning Quiz: Here
- Touch Type THIS: Wordshoot. If they offered this in grade school, I'd have learned to touch-type much sooner. -[F&J]
- If Rennaisance Art Were Haunted: It might look a little like this. This contest really changes the context of several of these works.
- Turns Out He Could Animate More Than the Dead: Ray Harryhausen's take on Mother Goose.
- And a Much Jazzier Look at Fairy Tales: The Three Little Bops (I've always loved this one.)
Permanent Link
|
Friday Follies
- Things That Are Cool:
- Don't Judge By Me - Not All Philly Folks Are Talented Hacks: Just wanted to point out two local things I've been enjoying:
- Mac of the Pesky Apostrophe is participating in 365: The Portrait Project - and she's been doing some really fun and interesting things with it. (It's also worth checking out her food photos from her Cook and the Gardner project. She's an excellent food photographer/blogger. Also, she's the kind of overachieving woman that could make even Helen Reddy feel like a slacker.)
- Scott (also of TUAW) and Marisa (also of Metroblogging Philadelphia) have started a new foodie vlog - Fork You. Their first episode is about making Sushi at home. It's funny and informative, and they have a great yin yang engergy going (although I can't help but wonder how many episodes it will take before Marisa knocks Scott out with the blunt end of her cleaver. I think if she did, she'd be totally justified. :p)
- Mac of the Pesky Apostrophe is participating in 365: The Portrait Project - and she's been doing some really fun and interesting things with it. (It's also worth checking out her food photos from her Cook and the Gardner project. She's an excellent food photographer/blogger. Also, she's the kind of overachieving woman that could make even Helen Reddy feel like a slacker.)
- These gamer holiday t-shirts (particularly the Three Ghosts and Q*bert ones)-[PG]
- Decobracon T (two great evil tastes rolled into one!) -[C]
- Bespoke Chocolate -[CH]
- The Narcisse mirror from the Asylum Collection -[AT]
- Whack-A-Moilere
- The Art of Bob Dob - [K]/li>
- Things I Find Disturbing:
- Hamdog
- Blackbeard's Rugged What Now? -[CT]
- The fact that Billy Idol has an album of Christmas standards coming out. As the Accordian Guy points out, you can check out Billy crooning White Christmas on his MySpace page - in which Idol both offers his trademark sneer AND wears a suit and tie. I am both delighted and horrified. On reflection, Ithink perhaps this should have been included in my Things I Want list - because I must own this album. Oh the pain, the glorious, terrible, post-punk rock pain. -[AAG21C]
- This whole OJ Simpson thing. Quite frankly, it makes me want to puke. I managed to miss most of the debacle the first time around - having been too engrosed in Gone With the Wind (a book that would eventually betray me and break my heart) to lift my head from the pages for a full week in order to catch up with the world around me) - and I'm hoping to stay equally clear - if not moreseo - this time around.
Permanent Link
|
Checking In
Hello my Tigers and Tigressess, my Cats and Kittens, my Cheetaharas and Panthros. How are you? I feel as though we never talk any more. I know, I know - it's me who's been remiss. My schedule has gone from "Aw, heck, I'll sleep when I'm dead" to "Aw, heck ,the dead don't need sleep anyway." I told my friends that I plan to give up my psychotic socializing and become a wi-fi enabled hermit in 2007 - to which they roundly responded "Yeah. Right." I'd like to kick their collective smug behinds for being right, but frankly, these days, I can't fit it in.
But all these shennanigans don't mean I haven't been thinking about you, Internet, in that Elvis Presley, Willie Nelson, always on my mind sort of way. There's been loads of tihngs I've been wanting to share with you. Such as:
- I've found another reason to love dancing - the shoes are sized European style, which means that for the first (and likely last) time in my life, I wear a size 7 - and it feels a little big on me.
- I went to a concert the other night, and two of the three members of the opening band wore ascots - the singer went with a Freddy from Scooby Doo ensemble, while the lead guitarist paired his with a tight-fitting, 60's style suit - a la The Zombies. (The drummer was clearly having a little "you guys look ridiculous, and we're a ROCK BAND rebellion" about it.) I have nothing against rock bands wearing ascots - but I do feel one needs to EARN them. Ascots are not for bands that fail to rock.
- I've noticed a trend with solo indie performance artists - many of them now have these sequencers, so they can play a lick, record it, and have it play back on a loop while they play something else - creating a fuller, more layered sound in their performance. This means it takes an additional 5-8 minutes for you to set up a two minute and thirty second song. It's ok once in awhile, but if you're doing it for every song in your set, you might want to consider getting a band. I assume they all do this because they have a hard time making friends.
- I have a distinct and unexplicable love for the startling passive agressive, insipid soft rock of the 70s. Maybe it's because I grew up with it - or maybe it's because Jim Croce and Gilbert O'Sullivan are really the undiscovered geniuses of the 20th century, and my willingness to warble their tunes will be vindicated in 3010 when they are reserrected from the dead and dubbed the poet laureates in perpetuity. Who can say? In any case, I was listening to Dan Fogelberg's Same Old Lang Syne yesterday, and when he reached the line, "We took her groceries to the checkout stand, The food was totalled up and bagged," I was thunderstruck. That sort of mundane detail about failing to reconnect with an ex is the hallmark not of insipid rock music - but of truly great blog posts. Imagine how different our musical history would be if Harry Chapin had an LJ account when he was raising his son, or Seals and Croft had a Blogger blog in the summer time? (I'd like to believe, however, that Captain and Tenille would have still been singers, because I believe the world would be a sadder place without the feel good "Please don't leave me for another woman, Mr. Wandering eye - because someday you'll be old and ugly and no one else will want you" pop of Love Will Keep Us Together.)
And how many of we bloggers would have picked up guitars to tell our tales were it not for the Internets? Could I have been the new Petula Clark? Would you stay out of the subways if I told you too?
Permanent Link
|
Monday Morning Madness
I don't normally embed YouTube videos on the front page (although the heavens know I link to them often enough), but I particularly wanted to share this video by Kilroy, a local musician, film maker and bon vivant who has the distinction of being one of the few people whom I have known for a number of years which is higher than that our of ages when we first met.
I had the pleasure of meeting his lovely, friendly, and funny wife this weekend, and on the off chance she is reading this - I'd like to assure her that conversations with my friends and I don't always revolve around the the tastiest way to prepare the blood of the innocents, or the dismemberment of frozen pachyderms (although naturally such topics do surface from time to time, as such things do) and should we chance to meet again, I hope she shan't run screaming.
Not much news from these parts otherwise. I once again bent time/space in order to rearrange furniture in my apartment. I was on the phone with my sister during the moving process (during which time I managed to trap myself in a corner - quite literally). She asked me why I didn't get someone to help me. To which I responded "Nah - I can manage myself." What I really meant, however, was "Because they would try and talk some sense into me." I managed to get things the way I wanted them, although I destroy my cable tv in the process...and getting into the office portion of my bedroom now takes a good sidling step and a deep breath - but dammit, I did it. Never underestimate the power of my stubborn.
And on to the links - almost all of which are things to watch, because I'm too tired from hauling furniture around to do anything that takes much effort:
- Monday Morning Quiz: Boo
- They've Transmorgified Me to Horrified: Robot Chicken takes on Calvin and Hobbes.
- And Speaking of Robots (But Not Chickens): Did you see how one recently decided that human flesh tastes like bacon? Who thought giving them a taste for human flesh was a good idea, anyway? Haven't they read the robot jokes? (My favorite? "Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a robot.")
- Not About Robots - But Sort of a Sad Statement on Corporate America: One Bank. Stolen from Small.to, U2, and a small piece of my soul I'll never get back.
- Synchronized Swimming: Science style
Permanent Link
|
Monday Morning Madness (Evening Edition)
Appy-polly-ologies, Internets; I fear my weekend got away from me. Actually, it was a pretty quiet weekend, as weekend goes, but when it comes to having to get things done, I find the that the days where I have too much free time on my hands to be the worst offenders.
And, I'm a slacker.
In other news, tomorrow is election day here in the States. I hope all of you who are eligible will take the time to vote.
I'm terribly distressed about this election, because the other day I found myself thinking "I hope my team wins." What a sickening thought. When did this country become so polarized? And what's worse, when did I buy into it?
If one must carry the sports analogy through (which I am now going to do poorly, and most likely inaccurately), they should consider the United States one team, the voters the coach, and the politians players - to be hired, fired and/or traded as best suits our nations needs.
What? You wouldn't trade Bush for "Bush is the Devil" Chavez for a season if you could? Clearly you lack imagination - whereas I merely lack an indepth understanding of our legal system and this great experiment of ours.
Actually - I thought I had a fairly good handle on it once, but with the proliferation of Presidential signing statements and Habeus Corpus out the window, I'm find I'm a bit hazy on the rest works too. It's certainly more fluid than it was when I took Civics.
In any case - I hope everyone who can vote will vote, and will vote their hopes rather than their fears. (Regardless of whether your hopes are opposed to my own.) Personally, I'm hoping I don't have to hear about fear much longer - this campaign ads are making me ill.
Blah. Feh. Etc. Onto the bread and circuses of the Internet, or, as you prefer - the links:
- Monday
MorningNight Quiz: Here - Will Keep You & Your Couch Warm All Winter Long: Of course, you'll only have your couch to keep you company, because no one will want to be seen with you in your Couch Dress. -[AT]
- Weird Al + Dylan = Bob
- So That's What Progress Looks Like: Photo project that compares images of 50 years ago to photos taken in the same locations today. Ghost. (Nifty idea. Would love to see it on a grander scale.) - [N]
- Language Lesson: This Jacques Brel song is in my personal music collection, and I really dig it. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the lyrics mean. There is a translation in the video; alas that's not in English either. Here's a different, funnier performance of the song by Brel - this time with Spanish subs. And a version by Camille with no subtitles, but with a marching chorus and a man with a fake Flock of Seagulls hairdo. You know. 'Cause. (Incidentally, I ran it through Google's babel doohickey - and the results are both confusing and surprising. Still, great song - buttocks, garlic and impotence nonwithstanding). UPDATED: English translation here. Depressing, yet still awesome.
Permanent Link
|
Friday Follies (This Should Probably Be About 4 Separate Posts, But I'm Lazy)
Some of you have noted that Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) has begun. Having recognized that I wasn't even able to generate a blog post on Wednesday as I originally planned, despite it being the final day of my vacation and my not having to do any actual work that day, I have realized my schedule may be a bit on the
I was going to say "a few times a week" or maybe "once a week" but as the piece I just added isn't even new (it's a story segment that's been sitting on my desktop, untouched, for months), I'm not prepared to make any promises. I do miss fiddling with fiction though - so if you want to send some challenges, writing exercises or story ideas for me to use for my NonNanowrimo challenge, drop 'em in the comments or shoot me an email. I will certainly appreciate them.
On an unrelated topic - has anyone noticed anything weird with iTunes lately? I logged onto send a particular song to a particular someone the other day (perhaps, sadly, driving the final nail into the concept of the "mixed tape"?), and found myself facing unfamiliar artists and menu items in German. I couldn't find anyway to switch out to English. In the end, I had to try to make a purchase, at which point iTunes told me I had to use the US store, and had me re-login.
Is it possible my computer has its own, secret, iTunes Germany account? And if so, how do I convince it to get me some hard-to-find German imports without summoning the demons of DMCA down upon it? And - more importantly - how do I get it to acquire it's own iTunes Japan account? Because that's where most of the imports I want are from.
And on a third unrelated topic (hey - I had to suffer by returning to work today after a relaxing week of frivolity - you have to suffer through my senseless meanderings until you get to the links. That's the way things work around here. Unless you're a sneak and just skip ahead to the bulleted list, in which case my revenge is ruined, since I couldn't skip going to the office.) dan p. recently asked why Halloween is such a big deal. Those of you who have read this blog more than, oh, once, know it's my favorite holiday, and that I did, in fact, plan my most recent block of vacation time around it in order to do all the things I wanted to do (of which I actually accomplished about 75%). And yet, I'm having a hard time trying to explain it.
I do think the fascination is, in part, cultural; I understand it's a much bigger holiday in the States than elsewhere - so to some extent I grew up with it. It's a day when most kids receive parental permission (encouragement even) to interact meaningfully with their hopes and fantasies by dressing up and trying to emulate those things they admire or would like to be - and further, get to test taboo by taking their alternate personalities and using them to safely wander darkened streets and participating in the usually forbidden act of taking candy from strangers. There's something undeniably seductive in the act of assuming an identity and then (safely) dabbling in danger. Some folks out grow it. The rest of us, I rather suspect, grow up reading an awful lot of Science Fiction.
In fact, my hometown does Halloween in a big way - with celebrations and events beginning mid-October and lasting till month's end. This means that at almost anytime in October it's not unusual to walk down the street and see a pirate or cenobite or Optimus Prime moving, unremarked, among the college students and business people. It quite put me in mind of those SciFi and fantasy universes where various races live in the same environment. Like, say, Babylon 5. Or high school.
I personally have a year-round passion for all things Halloweeny - including but not limited to the chance to adopt a alternate identity, be scared in a safe way, and to be generally silly in socially acceptable ways. Halloween gives me a chance to shriek like a five year old when faced with a monster I know to be a bored office worker in a costume. And, on the reverse, to be the bored office worker in costume that scares someone else. This year, I actually received a phone call out of the blue asking if I would be willing to volunteer as a zombie for an event; a request I had to turn down because I was already volunteering as a pirate. I can not begin to express how much I love the fact I have a life where I get to make such decisions. (Or, indeed, how tickled I am that someone thought, "Hm.. Where can I find some zombies. I know - call that Sarcasmo chick!").
Whilst pirating - well - whilst pirating a handsome young pirate lad frequently brought me chocolate dubloons - another reason why Halloween and my life are so delightful. Also whilst pirating (and more to the point) my scene partner and I were talking about our mutual love of Halloween, and he pointed out how singular a holiday it is because it is on a different day of the week every year, and that people celebrate it on that actual day - be it work day or weekend - even though it is not a holiday for which one gets to be off from work (unless they are a freak like me, and use vacation time). I don't know how it is in other countries, but by and large, Americans only care about non-religious holidays if they fall on a Monday (and often we "observe" non-Monday holidays just for the long weekend). Yet Halloween is observed on it's actual day.
It's a holiday that is almost solely about being silly and having fun and, possibly, candy. I really don't see how it could be any better.
Really, you may just have to visit the States sometime for Halloween to see what I mean.
Right. Here ends the blathering. Happy linkage. Happy weekend. Disgruntled grimace to the fact I'm back to work.
- Damn - There Really Is No Love This Time for Dr. Jones: Tenure denied - [CT]
- November 3rd Photo Project: Document your day today. Something I may well do, if I remember not to forget my camera (otherwise it'll be 10 photos of me watching Battlestar Galactica tomorrow night when I finally get home.) - [G]
- See Souvenirs in Their Natural Habitat: souvenirs. Man, I love Flickr photosets. People come up with the coolest uses for them.
- Parties at My Dance School Are Just Like This: Only, you know, without Batman. (I'll have to remember blaming my misteps on doped drinks as well.)
- But...He Man Didn't Have Turbo Packs: Ludacris + He Man. Apparently it's not a mash-up, it's a real track. I can't decide if it's genius, sacrilege. -[AoS]
- Speaking of Rap: While searching (unsuccessfully) for a video for the He Man rap, I did find a video of a man rapping Chaucer, which is genius and sacrilegious. (Anyone else think he sounds a little like Falco?)
Permanent Link
|
