This comes to Sarcasmo's Corner from Babyraven
It's finally begun happening. I knew it was only a matter of time.I'm starting to forget the tenor of her voice. For several months after Star died, I was comforted by being able to summon up a memory of her distinctive voice -- I could see something and imagine what she would have had to say about it if she and I were to have a conversation. It helped me hold on, helped me feel she was really sort if still around. It helped me to be able to talk about her and think about her and still be able to hold it together.And now, it's slipping away.It's almost too hard to bear. It's like losing her again, in a smaller, more personal way. And after being ok for the last couple months, now I'm feeling that crushing loss all over again, and I find myself choking up and tearing up at awkward times. While at work, I wind up having to go to the bathroom and sit in a stall and hold my head and breathe, just to make it through.Occasionally, I'll hear someone -- one of us, maybe, or even a complete stranger -- saying something in a similar pacing or with an inflection reminiscent of her. And it almost comes back, and I grab at it and try to hold it before it get away but it melts away. It fades like the picture of an old television that's just been shut off, and nothing I can do can hold onto it and I feel sad and angry and frustrated.Five months. Five months and I'm still angry at the universe.And then I feel guilty. Sure, I lost one of my best friends. But I feel unjustified in some ways. Like my loss can't compare to EverMike's or her fantastic family or Peccable, Trackerneil, & Vis Major... and I know it's irrational but I want to be WHOLE again and I want her BACK and and it makes me feel selfish. If I still hurt this much, how can everyone still be standing?Ok, I can't have her back. I realize that. But please please please -- can't you let me keep her voice?-
"The tie, if I might suggest it, sir, a shade more> tightly knotted.> One aims at the perfect butterfly effect. If you > will permit me..."
"What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?> Do you realize> that Mr. Little's domestic happiness is hanging in> the scale?"
"There is no time, sir, at which ties do not> matter."
P.G. Wodehouse, "Jeeves and the Impending Doom">
Two items hit my inbox this week that I wanted to share. First, from the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Sarch asm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
You can find the whole list of 2006 winners here. And here is something that has me pondering.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
Too much thinking for a Friday? Okay here are links to give your mind a place to wander off to.
Cajun Corsairs: Pyratecon combines two things that tickeled Sarcasmo's fancy. Pirates & New Orleans. The only hurricanes these pirates had to worry about are the ones in tall frosty glasses.(thanks Sarcs-Dad)
Bunny Bandits of the High Seas: Sarcasmo liked bunnies. Well, these bunnies. And chocolate ones. (via Phillyist)
FYEO: I probably should have shown you this one first. Unless of course your boss is super cool and watches the Bunny Videos with you on company time.
Great Expectations: Right after Pyratecon, Sarcasmo would be heading here. Promotional literature for Dickens World promises the "sounds and smells" of the 19th century. Is that a good thing? (thanks again Sarcas-Dad)
Do you have a link to something that would have made Sarcasmo get up and dance? Send it to me, firstname.lastname@example.org , or leave it in the comments.
We raised the Jolly Rodger, raised our glasses , and raised some money, all to honor Sarcasmo. Months of planning , designing, emailing and good old fashioned letter writing culminated in the pirate themed party/ silent auction last Sunday. The festivities were opened by Sarcas-sis who gave a speech to welcome the guests. Her words were translated to pirate speak by the salty tongued Vis Major. Walking the plank was encouraged as was swordplay. The food was yummy, the music was good and the people were generous. The auction part of the evening went very well, We raised over $5500 for the scholarship. The pirate guests really got into the spirit of the event. As the time to close the bidding drew near the I think everyone was around the tables trying to secure their winning bids. A beautiful framed piece of art, based on Slouching Towards Bedlam, and dinner for two at Philadelphia's only 5-star restaurant were the items that attracted the most and biggest bids.
When you look at the pictures, taken for us by Babyraven, take note of our handcrafted backdrop. It was made for us by Sean and Suzanne and we thank them from the bottom of our pirate heart.
Evermike has given us his thoughts on the evening. What about you? Were you there? Care to share? Email me your post at email@example.com and tell us all about it. Or leave your comments in, well, the comments.
Hey it's Friday. And , not just any Friday. It is the Friday before the big event. On Saturday we are donning our pirate garb and gathering on the poop deck to drink some grog, dance some jigs and spin some yarns in honor of Sarcasmo. All hail Sarcasmo. At the same time we are holding a Silent Auction to benefit a scholarship created in Sarcasmo's name at her high school alma mater. In that vein , here are some Friday Follies links that relate to the upcoming festivities.
It's Divine: http://www.threadless.com/product/799/To_Err_is_Human (thanks to Rae)
Use the Force: Darth Vader is still menacing even when he is only two inches high. The nice folks from Mimoco made a contribution to the Silent Auction. and they make cool minibots.(via Shiny Shiny)
When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best: You can choose from frogs, lice. thunder and hail and all the other plagues. All to publicize "The Reaping" also represented on the auction table. (thanks to Cheryl)
But You Can Call Me : by my rock and roll name. ( thanks VisMajor)
Thanks for all the links . Keep on sending them to me, at firstname.lastname@example.org